“You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms.” ~ Terence McKenna
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Reposted via Alan Watts Wisdom via Facebook
..."This is therefore to say that the transformation of human consciousness through meditation is frustrated so long as we think of it as something that I by myself can bring about, by some sort of wangle, by some sort of gimmick. Because you see it leads to endless games of spiritual one-up-manship. And of guru competition. Of my guru being more effective than your guru. My yogas are faster than your yoga. I am more aware of myself than you are. I am humbler than you are. I am sorrier for my sins than you are. I love you more than you love me. There’s this interminable goings on where people fight and wonder whether they are a bit more evolved than somebody else and so on.
All that can just fall away. And then we get this strange feeling that we’ve never had in our lives except occasionally by accident. Some people get a glimpse that we are no longer this poor little stranger and afraid in a world it never made. But that you are this universe. And you are creating it at every moment. Because you see it starts now. It didn’t begin in the past. There was no past. If the universe began in the past, when that happened it was now. But it is still now and the universe is still beginning now and it’s trailing off like the wake of a ship from now and as the wake of the ship fades out, so does the past. You can look back there to explain things but the explanation disappears. You will never find it there. Things are not explained by the past. They’re explained by what happens now. That creates the past. And it begins here." ~Alan Watts... Video by: Tragedy and Hope
Something that came up recently in my last shrink meeting was similar in thought to this blog post. We were talking about the concept of childlike vs. childish and the positive and negative aspects of those two words and the perception of there meaning. Childish is a judgment placed on behavior that is deemed inappropriate while Childlike is things of children whether that means simple, innocent or a sense of purity of individual qualities."When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things." For years and years, I believed this quote to be genuine and accurate. What that essentially did was wreck my beliefs of how to define what a Man is. As I was taught, a Man is someone, completely devoid of those childlike qualities. I was taught and believed that Men are supposed to be tough, stoic, invulnerable and violent if necessary. These ideas and mantras were perpetrated on the playground, among friends and peers, we were told to “be a man,” and “boys don’t cry, or to man up.” We were conditioned to believe without question, our natural emotions are a form of weakness, and for many years I also spread this false ideology. I've been restructuring my belief system, and this conversation with my shrink solidified a lot of the definitions I had confused between what is a man versus a boy.
A friend recommended a different story on this blog, which I enjoyed and started down the rabbit hole of her viewpoints on life. I came across the article titled "The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs. a Man" by Amy C. Even though her perspective is on a dating point of view, the information further illustrated the points as mentioned earlier. I would encourage you to read this and hopefully find some actionable information that you can use to learn what a Man is versus the boy that should have found direction.
When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” – Psychology TodaySo games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. You can switch the genders in this post and most points would likely still apply. Or, read this post on “The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl vs a Woman“.If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.
A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life) or another purpose or passion. A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.
Original Article can be found here: http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/
Photo credit: Jaclyn Auletta
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This is my most loved, and longest running Podcast I have listened to that has affected my life on more than one occasion. The immense amount of information that I learn through Joe Rogan and his guests is immeasurable. He's my modern day philosopher if I could be so generous with such dramatic licensing. One of my favorite pieces of this show are the nuggets of information that is disseminated in easy to understand and applicable methods.
Chris V, the individual that posted this video said it best "these very clips have changed the way I think, I feel about myself, & the way I treat the rest of the world. Listen in a quiet place with an open mind & use the tools from the video to question how you have been living."
Even Though I am still trying to incorporate many of these thoughts, into my daily life, it is always fantastic to be reminded that you can be the hero of your own story. This video is a testament to the power of words, and when spoken from a loving human such as this. They resonate with such power that any of us can enact change in every person we meet.
The energy created can never be destroyed; it is merely transferred or transformed to evolve into a new form. Thus everything that is affects everything else that is. Authentic love is whole, complete and in essence, beyond suffering. When something dies, you don't lose it, because you never owned it. We suffer most when we are attached to the illusion. True love does not leave a wound when it is lost, because true love can never be lost. Once created, "it" exists forever within the unity of the Devine sphere. The divine conversation of love is something beyond a mere notion or discussion; it is ALIVE, filled with the budding possibility of a butterfly about to open its wings for the first time.
Author David G. Areson for MindBodyGreen.com.
@wgsn Hard not to fall in love with the colored houses dotted around #Nola 📷 by @sarahsarahowen
Life gets busy and confusing a lot of the times. We can easily get in a rut that seems impossible to get out of somedays. We all start our projects or new interests with an insatiable pace of passionate feelings. We all get busy with life, I certainly can relate. I can sometimes forget to visit that previous hobby or curiosity because it no longer holds my full attention. Please remember why you started. Whether it is a relationship, a forgotten passion, or simply something you loved that changed for some reason.
I have been learning a second language, and this video came across illustrating that English is the toughest language to learn. I'm not entirely sure that is the case. An article I read in The Economist (Title; We went in search of the world’s hardest language) stated "English is pretty simple: verbs hardly conjugate; nouns pluralise easily (just add “s,” mostly) and there are no genders to remember." I read the poem before I watched the video (https://www.fluentin3months.com/tough/) and it is quite the tongue twister, but that was the fun in the poem.
Photo by MCML
"I'm talking literal biological changes. When you breathe deep, alkalinity rises, cortisol drops. When you hold your breath, you can boost adrenaline. We have a race car waiting for us to drive, but most of us just set it on autopilot, never intentionally putting our foot on the gas or the breaks. Take control of your breath and take control of your life." ~ Aubrey Marcus
Mahayana Buddhists do not aspire to enlightenment purely to free themselves from suffering; they do so out of compassion to liberate other sentient beings.
Adam Yauch on understanding Bodhisattva and having a path said: "I think, of the bodhisattva path is doing what most benefits the totality of the universe, of all that is. And when you put yourself out there in a way that you aren’t really functional, then that is not going to most benefit the universe. You know, it’s just trying to get a feel, in your heart, for what’s going to most benefit the interconnectedness of all that is."
That sounds interesting but what is bodhisattva?
There are three principle meanings of the term “bodhisattva,”
1. In early Buddhism, bodhisattva meant “the previous lives of a (or the) Buddha.” 2. In Mahayana Buddhism, bodhisattva refers to a human being committed to the attainment of enlightenment for the sake of others. Becoming a bodhisattva is the goal of Mahayana Buddhism.
3. Bodhisattva may also refer in Mahayana Buddhism to archetypal bodhisattvas: mythical beings such as Avalokiteshvara and Manjushri, who are objects of devotion.
As defined by Tricycle Magazine. "You can define a Bodhisattva as one who acts as a true adult. That is, most people in the world act like children. The word dainin means “true adult” or “bodhisattva.” Today most people who are called adults are only pseudoadults. Physically they grow up and become adult, but spiritually too many people never mature to adulthood. They don’t behave as adults in their daily lives. A bodhisattva is one who sees the world through adult eyes and whose actions are the actions of a true adult. That is really what a bodhisattva is."
Why does this all matter?
I think this practice can honestly take you (or the ego) out of the picture, to be a benefit to the people around you. We can sometimes focus on ourselves so much that we forget those people around us, like children, friends, spouses or significant others. The most joy we can get is when we acknowledge someone and show them the same focus we place on other less significant interests. This is not about Buddhism; this is not about religion or spirituality, it is about significance, human nature, to be kind, to be compassionate, to be empathetic and to be a human being.
Photo by Johannes Plenio
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Getting lost in the infinitive of the night sky is calming and relaxing and at the same time terrifying. I love looking up and thinking how trivial my issues and problems are in comparison to the expanse of the dark.
I thought I would share this beautiful picture by Sean Bagshaw Photography and Outdoorexposurephoto.com.
Hello, Fans of Thirteen Thieves. I wanted to reach out to you today to say thank you for the follow, the purchases, the feedback and the interest. I am tremendously grateful to each and every one of you who make this all possible.We are not a huge corporation who does not care, or has questionable business ethics; we are a small home based business that strives, to be honest with who we are, and transparent to our morals and beliefs. We work very hard to make an honest living and provide an ethical and meaningful difference to you, our community and the world.
Thank you again for your support.
Photo creator: Unknown
Changing negative self-talk can be a challenge many us may not even know we are a willing participant in, which I am just as guilty as the next. Every day some or most of us avoid looking in the mirror or focus on the routine we are completing, not once stopping to look at ourselves or this total stranger that appears at specific times of the day or through casual peripheral glances.None of us are immune to the self-doubt and negative self-talk of our lives. Nevertheless, open up a conversation and ask what other people think of you. Start taking compliments seriously and don't let them pass or wave them away. Especially don't deflect these compliments with your discounting negative talk a taking As my friend would say, "Isn't it what I think you think you are."
I had the privilege of receiving one of the greatest and most unusual gifts in life—not once, but twice.
This also leaves me with the responsibility to pass the lesson of this gift on, so that others can benefit from it.The first time I received this great gift, I was a high school student sitting in a classroom, listening attentively to the weekly school announcement to hear who had won Student of the Week.The second time, I was at a concert and walking to the restroom when a woman in an elegant dress caught my attention.In both cases, I had no idea how profound of an impact these experiences would have on my life.As I was listening to the principal’s announcement describing the achievements of the winning student, I noticed myself feeling impressed by what that person was doing and how she was showing up. I even thought for a moment, “Gee, I would like to receive one of those awards one day. I wonder what I would have to do to get that.”
I pushed that thought aside as I remembered that the past Student of the Week selections included a football player who was single-handedly responsible for a hard-fought win for the school, as well as a girl who had probably saved a life. There was no way I could ever live up to those standards.Fast forward to the time when I was at the concert. The woman who had caught my eye almost reminded me of an elf. For the briefest moment, I was quite mesmerized by her appearance.In both situations, I was stunned by what happened next.Applause suddenly erupted in my high school classroom. I didn’t understand what was going on. The teacher walked over to my desk and congratulated me. My brain tried to make sense of this. Eventually, it dawned on me that the seemingly amazing person described in the school announcement was apparently me.It might seem to you that I was being rather obtuse in that moment. Could this experience have been your experience? If somebody described the most positive aspects of you and you didn’t know they were talking about you, would you recognize yourself? Or would you think they were talking about some mythical, angelic creature who is clearly living in another reality than yours?More than a decade after that day in high school, the elf-like woman at the musical event headed straight my way, giving me the chance to study her. I concluded that I would like to look as elegant as she did in that moment. For some reason, neither one of us would move to the side and out of the way. I began to wonder if we would run into each other, that is until I realized I was walking toward a mirrored wall concealed in the corner of a rather dark room.Could this have been your experience?If you saw yourself on the streets without knowing that it was you, would you think differently about yourself? Would your outside perception be different from your inner experience of yourself?The reason these two situations were one of the greatest gifts of my life is because they showed me that there is typically the discrepancy between how we habitually see ourselves and how we would see ourselves if we were looking through somebody else’s eyes.I wish everybody could experience something similar at least once. Fresh eyes on who we are and how we show up in this world might be the easiest way to deepen self-love.While the situations I described were the result of an unusual and non-reproducible combination of surprise, luck, and coincidence, there are things everybody can do to change one’s own negative self-perception.
Here are three ways to get started:
1. Ask somebody who has high regard for you about their perception of you. Chances are that the people around you will perceive you much more positively than you see yourself, especially if you are self-critical. By listening to how others perceive you, you can begin to open yourself up to a different point of view. The key here is to specifically ask about the positive qualities they see in you and to open yourself up to letting their feedback in. In addition to receiving this positive regard from people close to you, it can also be beneficial to receive it from other sources, such as an external support structure.
2. Start taking compliments seriously.When somebody gives you a nice compliment, assume that they mean it. Take it in. Don’t let it pass you by and don’t wave it aside. Assume that this compliment might be the truth about you, or at least closer to the truth than any negative self-talk.
3. Try to put yourself in the shoes of another and evaluate yourself. If you were somebody else, how would you see yourself? What would you find impressive about yourself? What would you find beautiful about yourself? What would inspire you about yourself and your own story?.The hidden key to self-love might be simple: see yourself as if you were somebody else, and then allow yourself to recognize that that amazing person is actually you!
Author: Bere BlissenbachI
mage: Matthew Brodeur
Editor: Caitlin Oriel
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Have you ever wondered why nice guys finish last? A great article by Dr. Lisa Vallejos explaining to us why a nice guy is not always the best choice. Fellas strive to be a good man! I've struggled for years with being a nice guy and I'm ready to become a good man.
via Elephant Journal
Photo by Robert Bejil
Are you a nice guy or a good man?
If that seems like an odd question, bear with me for a moment, because there is a distinct difference between the two.
A nice guy will tell a pretty lie to avoid the discomfort of telling an ugly truth. A good man will deliver the truth, however unpleasant, because his integrity will not let him deceive anyone for his own comfort.
A nice guy will do nice things with unspoken expectations attached. He will take a woman on a date, expecting to get something in return. A good man does things without expectation of a payoff, but because he is acting in accordance with his core values. Should he receive a return—it’s simply a bonus.
A nice guy is worried about his reputation, but a good man is only concerned with his character.
A nice guy fears rejection and so he seeks validation. A good man is self-validated and does not tie his worth to whether he is accepted or rejected.
A nice guy will cloak his intentions and be unclear, while a good man will be upfront with his intentions and be very clear about his aim. The good man leaves no space for ambiguity.
A nice guy will have loose boundaries and will bend over backwards just to seem nice. A good man has clear boundaries and, thus, earns the respect of the people around him.
A nice guy will smother his current love interest and will make her the center of his universe. A good man will give appropriate attention to a lover without becoming overbearing or taking over her life.
A nice guy will blame others, circumstances, or fate for his lot in life. A good man recognizes his role in whatever has transpired, takes responsibility and, when necessary, redirects his course.
A nice guy will make lofty promises to look good while a good man will only make the promises he knows he can keep.
A nice guy wants to play the knight in shining armor, but is quick to disappear when sh*t gets real. A good man knows it’s not his job to rescue anyone but will show up and have your back when needed.
A nice guy will discard anything and anyone that is no longer useful to him. A good man will respect another persons’ inherent dignity and treat them kindly even when they no longer have a role or purpose in his life-plan.
A nice guy lacks leadership abilities and is content to let others guide his life. A good man takes charge of his life and becomes the master of his own fate.
A nice guy will do anything to avoid hurting someone’s feelings while a good man realizes that sometimes, the kindest thing one can do for another may initially be hurtful, but will eventually be helpful.
A nice guy will say what others want to hear while a good man will say what others need to hear.
A nice guy won’t apologize even when he’s wrong because he thinks it makes him weak. A good man is quick with apologies and even faster with reparations.
A nice guy lives in service of himself and his desires while a good man lives in service of humanity.
At the core, the major difference between a nice guy and a good man is that a nice guy is concerned with appearances and etiquette. The good man is concerned with character and morality.
The nice guy takes the easy road. The good man is committed to his development and is willing to do the work to become a good man. The good man realizes that he is not going to get there by taking shortcuts, in life, business, or relationships.
The good man will do the work, and reap the benefits while the nice guy looks on in envy.
If you’re a nice guy, it’s okay. You can become a good man.
Start by speaking your truth, owning your life and choices, and start living for a higher purpose.
Start making decisions that align with being a good man. Change your approach to living.
via Elephant Journal needs more of you. here